direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They have beer where we have blood.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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