I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
