Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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