I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize