There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so let's talk penis.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
