No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize