is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
