I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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