I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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