billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
