It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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