i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
