she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
