she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
