just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
