She's JV to your varsity
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.