Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?