I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
