he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Bring me that man meat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
