I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
