Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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