So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
