It's Friday. Sex?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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