You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
