there's paper in my vomit.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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