you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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