I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
