Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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