yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
