hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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