it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
