And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
