Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize