if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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