I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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