I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
