Dual....:-)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
