Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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