the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
