Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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