im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dignity is for republicans.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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