I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
