I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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