Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm getting married
To pizza
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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