What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
