Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
