plz talk dirty to me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
