just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
