he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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