Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
what day is it and did you see me today?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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