Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
