I'm really into asian looking animals
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
