so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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