i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
