if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize