Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
