i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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