My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
