I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
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your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were trust falling into bushes
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