All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
