I need help removing her.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
