We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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