please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
