id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
